


Home

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Danvers (mentioned) - Freeform, Barry Allen (Mentioned) - Freeform, Childhood Trauma, Clark Kent isn't perfect, Family, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kara Danvers isn't perfect, Lois Lane (Mentioned) - Freeform, Love their relationship, Oliver Queen (Mentioned) - Freeform, Platonic Relationship, but you can easly ignore it, elseworlds crossover briefly mentioned, family dinamic, in-dept look, it's happening durring Elseworlds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 01:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: She looked at him and saw pride in his eyes. She hoped he could see how proud of him she was. They've had a lot of ups and downs, together and seperately, but they came back stronger from all of it... On a peacefull night in Smallville, Kara and Clark look back at their relationship, what it meant for them back then, and what it means for them right now.





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> So... This my very first story I'm posting here, and I have no beta, so sorry in advance if there are any mistakes.  
> All the hype over tis year's crossover, and the fact that they're gonna be in Smallville finally pushed me to write this. I always wanted to see more background of Kara and Clark's relationship on the show. We got 2 flashback episodes focusing on Kara's relationship with Alex, one in s1 and one in s3. I wish we could get one for Clark too. AndI always wanted to see Kara is Smallville, but until I saw that picture from the set of Elseworlds, I didn't think they would ever do it on the show. So this is an in-dept look on their relationship how I imagine it. I wrote it after rewatching few episodes and analizing Kara's behaviour around Clark. So i hope you'll like it. Please, leave a comment, it would mean a world to me to know what you guys think. Enjoy!

“ **Home”**  
  
When they arrived to Smallville, Kara felt a sense of nostalgia.

She had so many fond memories from the Kent farm – when she was still in high school, she would come here every summer, sometimes bringing Alex along. Even if it was only for a week or so – Clark still had his job at Daily Planet and couldn't take as many days off as he would like to – those few days always felt like the best time. Mostly, because she was able to spent some time with her cousin and be 100% herself. They were few good miles from the nearest neighborhood, surrounded by meadows and woods and hills, so they could fly around and use full extent of their powers without caring about hiding they identitites – they could just be Kara and Kal, the last children of Krypton.

Her visits became less and less frequent after she went to college. She doesn't really know why, maybe there wasn't enough time, maybe she was too ocupied with the changes in her life – moving to National City and finding job after college, being _normal_... Last time she was here she wasn't even working at CatCo yet...

“Man, I haven't been here in years...” Kara said as she got out of the car, Barry and Oliver following her. Right now they had their weird situation on their heads – with the mind-switching or whatever-that-is – and Clark decided it would be better to lay low for a while and try to come up with a resolution – that's why the four of them came to the Kent Farm in the first place.

“I actually haven't been here in a while either.” said Clark as he joined her.  
“Come on” he said, looking at the other two guys. “Lois is waiting with dinner.”

 

***

  
Indeed she was waiting for them, dinner already on the plates. She gave Kara a hug with the strength worthy of a Kryptonian, and they had a small talk after dinner as they were doing dishes. Martha Kent came to say hi and got the guys to help her fix few small problems around the house. “No supermaning today.” as she said – they had no choice but listen.  
  
***  
  
When the sun came down and the stars showed up, Kara flew up to the roof and got herself comfortable. She always loved stargazing, especially in places like Midvale or Smallville – the lack of city lights and tall buildings made the stars more visible, as if there was more of them than usuall. She brought her knees to her chest, put her arms around them and looked up. The sky looked like it was sprinkled with glitter. It was quiet and peaceful around her, but the complete opposite was happening in her mind right now. She thought about the current challenges she had to face - Agent Liberty, the anti-alien hate group... She couldn't understand how those are the same people she saves everyday – mothers, fathers, her neighbors, co-workers.  
She thought about Mon-El and Winn, saving the world sometime in the future. She missed her best friend so much. And she would give everything to see Mon-El again.  
She thought about her mother. What she's doing right now? How is she? They still had no way to communicate Argo, it was frustrating.

Kara was so deep in her thoughts she didn't notice someone joining her.  
“ I thought I might find you here.” Clark said as he sat down beside her.  
“How did you know I was here?”  
“Because that used to be my favorite place to sit and overthink stuff.”

Kara smiled at him. He knew her so well, sometimes better than she knew herself.  
He slipped his strong arm around her shoulders and brought her closer. Kara leaned her head on his shoulder. His fingers drew soothing circles on her arm and a thought went through her mind _How someone who looks so strong can be so gentle?_

“What's on your mind, Kara?” he whispered.  
“How can you defeat a threat when it comes from the very people you have to save?”  
“That's... a very good question.” Clark said after a moment. “I wish I could help with it but this anti-alien movement is too big even for me at the moment.”  
“How was Argo?” Kara asked, changing the topic. Her cousin visited the city a few weeks ago and they didn't really have time to talk about it until now.

“It was... unbelivable.” he admitted. “Kinda like a dream. All I ever known and seen about Krypton was from the archives in the fortress... but to actually be there... it's surreal.”  
“Yeah... this is the city where we were born. Where we were supposed to grew up. I spent my childhood there. And it looks like nothing happened.”  
“Your mother showed me around. Made me feel welcomed.” Clark smiled. “And she makes delicious food.”  
“I know, right?”

They laughed at her excitement.

“Being there was amazing, and I want to go there again, but – to my suprise – it hadn't really feel like...”  
“Home.” Kara finished his thought. “Yeah, I know. At first I was so overwhelmed with everything that I imidiately, without thinking, made a decision to stay there permanently.”  
“Thanks for informing me, by the way...” Clark said sarcasticaly.  
“Sorry about that. It was hard enough telling Alex I was leaving. But the point is, when I got there, when I stayed... I couldn't find my place. There are few of my childhood friends out there, but they are much older than me right know, with their own families, and different expiriences, and we just couldn't find the same language. I couldn't understand their way of life, they couldn't understand mine, because I was too... human. I realized I didn't belong there. It was like those first years on Earth all over again, when I found myself in a strange world I didn't understand and all I wanted was to be with my family.” Kara said as she looked at him.  
“About that... I had a very long conversation with your mother.” Clark said looking at their joined hands. He became visibly nervous.

“About?”  
“Let's say she wasn't pleased with the way I handled things back then... When you came on Earth.”

Kara knew what he was talking about. When she told her mother her story, she was very confused as to why Kal-El would leave her with some strangers.  
“Clark, we've been over this. I understand your reasoning. I wasn't always happy about it, but I understand. Now better than ever. You did this to protect me.”  
“Yeah, but I should've been there for you. I should have been more involved. Show up more. I should have been your home. But I put being Superman over family. And I hurt you because of that. That's my biggest regret.”

Kara didn't say anything at that, just snuggled closer to him.

It's true, things weren't always this good between them, especially in the beginning. She was just 13 years old when she came to Earth, she was just a kid. A kid, who needed protection, guidance and family. When she found out her baby cousin was a grown man now, she felt relieved at first – there was someone who could take care of her, who could understand her and who could help her understand this new world around her. But then he just dropped her off at some strangers' house, because appearently it was too dangerous for her to stay with him and just took off. Back then it was like an ultimate betrayal for Kara. That made her feel even more like an orphan. She didn't feel loved, wanted. Of course, over the years Clark made sure to be present in her life, one way or another – showing up on her birthdays, helping her with school, taking her to Metropolis or Smallville for summer or Christmas... But it always ended up the same, with something happening somewhere in the world and Superman's presense was requried. So he would make an excuse to leave or drop her off in Midvale and she would say she's fine with it, because she didn't want to be selfish. She knew these people needed saving and she understood she couldn't go with him, doesn't matter how bad she wanted to.  
But as she got older, she realized that every “Yeah, sure, go. I'll be fine” was a lie. She wasn't fine. She wanted to go with him. She wanted him here, in her life. She wanted him to want her in _his_.

She remembers one particular situation, one night when she couldn't take it anymore.  
_She was 17. She finally made some friends at school, and with her newfound love for music and singing, she joined the drama club. The winter musical was her first big performace and she got the lead role. She was so nervous, but more excited. She invited everyone she could to the premiere – she basically begged Clark and Lois to come. And they agreed. Lois even helped her prepare for the role. Everytime they practiced, Clark watched, made a comment or two and convinced her that she's going to nail it. Especially that big solo number at the end of the show that was technically difficult to sing and she was scared she's gonna blow it._  
 _“You're amazing, honey, keep going. I'll be there. If you get nervous, just look at me okay?”_

_So when the premiere came and Kara saw everyone in the audience – Eliza, Alex, Clark and Lois sitting next to each other in the forth row – she trully felt invincible. Everything was going well, but towards the end of the show Kara noticed in the corner of her eye that Clark is leaving. She didn't have time to think about it because she had to go through the scene. Maybe just a bathroom break, she thought. But the ending was closer and closer and he still wasn't back. By the time the final number came Kara already knew he wasn't coming back. As she entered the stage, she swallowed back tears, looked at the empty seat and then locked eyes with Lois for a second. The woman just whispered quick “I'm sorry” and averted her gaze. Kara sang as best as she could, but her voice cracked a few times because of fighting back tears. Her teacher then said that it's not a big deal, it added more emotion to her performace, but Kara still felt like a failure. Lois wanted to talk to her after the show, but Kara went straight to the car and demanded to be taken home._

_He came back the next day. She heard a knock on the bedroom door and when she hadn't answered, he let himself in. She knew it was him – she heard him talking to Eliza downstairs. She didn't even look at him, she turned her face to the window to hide her tears that were already falling down her cheeks. She felt the bed shift – he sat down next to her._   
_“Kara, I am so sorry I had to leave. There was this chemical bomb in Russia, and-”_   
_“And Superman needed to save the world. Again.” she said, no trace of emotion in her voice. He tried to take her hand but she yanked it out of his grasp and got up from the bed._   
_“Kara...”_   
_“Don't 'Kara' me, Clark.” she said as she turned to face him. She let the tears fall – there was no point in hiding them anyway. “You promised you'll be there. You knew how important it was for me. And yet you left. Again. Because of Superman. Again.”_   
_“These people needed me, I-”_   
_“I needed you. I needed you and you didn't care.”_   
_“Of course I care, Kara...”_   
_“No. If you cared you would have stayed. If you cared, you wouldn't have left me here. You would have let me stay with you.”_

_Clark hang his head low and averted his gaze from her. He was ashamed. She could see that. But she was angry and she couldn't care less._   
_“I did it to protect you.”_   
_“When I got here and I found out that my only living family member is an adult who is capable of taking care of me, I felt relieved. The burden was off of my shoulders. But then said adult abandoned me, on a strange planet, with a family of strangers. Because of Superman. Again.”_   
_He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at her._   
_“I'm your last living relative. I am supposed be your priority, like you were supposed to be mine when we were sent here. Whenever you do this, whenever you leave me because someone, somewhere needs Superman, I say I'm fine. But I'm not fine. I'm far from fine. I need you in my life. I want to be in your life. You're the only one who can actually help me here and you're doing nothing about it. You're wearing our family's crest on your chest but that doesn't make you part of it. Family is about showing up. And you don't. I need you. And I don't mean Superman. Hell, I don't even mean Clark Kent. I need Kal-El, my cousin. My family.”_

_He was silent for while. Then he lifted his head and looked at her. He had tears in his eyes. His hands were shaking. He stood up and said._   
_“You're right. I screwed up. I left you here, because I wanted to protect you, but also, because I didn't know what to do. I didn't think I was capable of raising a child. And it turns out I'm still not.” He aproached her, put his hands gently on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes._   
_“But I want you to know, that I care. And I'm gonna be better. I'm gonna put you first, I promise. I didn't realise it hurt you so much. I'm sorry.”_   
_She lowered her head, but he put two fingers under her chin and lifted it up._   
_“I love you, Kara. More than anything. I swear. And I'm gonna be better. I will try. I will show up more. I'll be right here whenever you need me. I promise. Will you give me a second chance?”_   
_Kara didn't say anything. Instead she took a step forward and put her arms around his waist, snuggling close to his chest._   
_“Last chance.” she said._   
_Clark put his arms around her and held her tighter. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head._   
_“I love you so much, Kara.”_   
_“I love you, too, Kal.”_

“Remember my biggest screw up?” he asked. “Winter musical, your junior year?”  
Kara looked up at him. Sometimes she wondered if he could read minds for real. She didn't really know where he was going with this, so she nodded.  
“I promised you I'll be better. I'll try harder.” he looked her in the eyes.  
“Tell me... was I better? Or...”  
“The best.” Kara tried to convince him. “Maybe I still couldn't really spend as much time with you as I would like to, but you started trying. I saw that. You know...” she hesitated. After that time almost a decade ago they never talked about it. Not really. Not like that. But, to be honest, it would be good for both of them to finally come clean about some things. “I never told you this, but back then, all I really wanted was to live with you. Not just hang out from time to time. The fact that I couldn't was the main reason for my resentement to the world around me... and my recless behaviour. You could say I was trying to get your attention. My parents had already left me, I was scared you're gonna do the same. This... fear of abandonement has been destroying me ever since.”

Clark gave her a surprised look. “Still? Even now?”  
“I know it's stupid...” she let out a sigh, a shadow of shame on her face. “But this little girl, who thinks everyone she loves is going to leave her at one point or another, is still in me. And she shows up behind big smiles and excitement.” She fell silent for a moment. “Remember when we officially teamed up for the first time?”  
When Clark nodded, she continued. “The same thing that happened with Argo, also happened back then. I was so happy, so excited, honestly it felt like the best day of my life... And in all of that, without thinking, I told Alex I'm moving to Metropolis.” She gave him a quick glance to see his reaction. He was surprised, but he was silently waiting for more. “We had a fight that day. Because, at first instinct I was ready to just drop everything I have in National City and go. It took Alex reclessly risking her life for me to understand the bigger picture.I don't need to be afraid of that. Not anymore. I have you, and Alex, Eliza, James, Winn, J'onn, and even Barry and Oliver and the rest from Earth-1. We don't need to live under the same roof to be a family. You asked me if you were better. Yes, you were. But I also had to be better. I treated Kal-El, Clark and Superman as three different people. I didn't realize back then that they are the same person and they all love me and they all want what's best for me. I needed to learn to accept each part of you, not just the kryptonian one. I'm sorry, I wasn't able to do that then.”

Kara instantly felt lighter. She wanted to tell him all of that for so long. To finally get it off of her chest was... amazing.

“I remember how scared I was when I found you, when I realized who you are. Yeah, I was Superman. But I was also a 22 year old guy, straight out of college, struggling. I gave you to the Danvers, because I thought I wasn't good enough for you. I thought I couldn't give you what you needed. I said it's to dangerous for you to stay with me because of my enemies. It was true, bit it was still an excuse. I should have tried. You needed a guardian, a parent. And I wasn't ready to be one.”  
Kara took his hand again. “And that's completely okay. I hated this back then, but I would never change it.”

She looked at him and saw pride in his eyes. She hoped he could see how proud of him she was. They've had a lot of ups and downs, together and seperately, but they came back stronger from all of it. She was greatful for that.  
“Come here” Clark whispered and brought her closer to him, trapping her in his strong embrace. Kara buried her face in his chest and closed her eyes. This was home. But home was also in National City, where Alex ordered Kara's favorite chinese takeout. Home was in Midvale, where she sat with Eliza on the porch, drinking hot chocolate. Home was Argo, where she could relive old memories and make new one with her mom. Home was Earth-1 Central City, where she was always welcomed to crash on Barry's couch.

Kara felt Clark's hand rest on her hair and his lips leaving a soft kiss on her forhead. And she couldn't help but think – of all the homes she has, Clark was her favorite one.

 


End file.
